My Little Black Book

Inaugural edition of what I'm loving.

Dear Friends,

You have asked and so here it is! Please find below my Little Black Book for the month of September.

Anyone who knows me well, I can honestly, if not humbly say, tends to covet my referrals, and so I hope you too, will find them to bring delight, usefulness, insight, and surprise into your daily life, if not the refrain, “I am obsessed” once in a while.

I will be sharing a peek into my LBB once a month plus an annual Holiday Issue as well as other specialized LBBs along the way. Hot off the press, special finds, to tried and true, time tested favorites, plus bits and bobs in between.

Being a writer in relationship with you as readers, I will first offer what I’m currently finding interesting between the pages. Scroll further, however, to find treasures each month under topics such as Clean Beauty, Wellness, Gifts, Home, Parenting, People, etc. etc.

If there is anything you are curious about, please meet me in the comments. I am dedicated to defining the com in comments to stand for the community I am committed to building here.

Speaking of which, later today you will receive an email inviting you to come chat with me from time to time. Details to follow. And you can also find me on Substack Notes. All of this engagement is much more fun via the Substack App so if you are not using it, I highly recommend you download it from the App Store and give it a whirl.

Until next time, xoxo!

WRW

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Books in Nonfiction:

The Success Myth by Emma Gannon — “I loved that my career was always there, like a buoyancy aid. Something I could lean on when I needed to and it did made me happy sometimes. But I hadn’t quite recognized the truth. That your job will never really love you back. Yes it could support you financially but it would never be there for you emotionally. It’s not the comfort blanket that you think it is. Even if you love something, if it takes over your life and starts to make you unwell, it is by definition an addiction of some sort.”

Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MD — “The dizzying values, contradictions, and impossible expectations put on women, quite simply, make no sense at all … Real self-care is an internal solution: it’s about changing your internal reality—or your consciousness.”

And I loved this requote in the book that is attributed to Audre Lorde: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

Levi’s Unbuttoned by Jennifer Sey — “We can’t get to the right answers if we aren’t free to discuss the wrong ones. The wrong ones aren’t dangerous unless they are allowed to fester. Inevitably they sink under the weight of truth.”

This is one of the most important books I have read in a while. Jennifer Sey was Brand President for Levi’s and she was tapped to be the next CEO. She resigned and walked away from a $1mm payout as she was not willing to betray her principles regarding free speech, especially at a time when so many of us are at times hesitant to talk about important subjects due to the (sometimes unjustified) backlash of cancel culture and what Sey and many others call the “the woke mob”.

Books in Fiction:

Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus — “Whenever you start doubting yourself,” she said, turning back to the audience, “whenever you feel afraid, just remember. Courage is the root of change—and change is what we’re chemically designed to do. So when you are up tomorrow, make this pledge. No more holding yourself back. No more subscribing to others’ opinions of what you can and cannot achieve. And no more allowing anyone to pigeonhole you into useless categories of sex, race, economic status, and religion. Do not allow your talents to lie dormant, ladies. Design your own future. When you go home today, ask yourself what you will change. And then get started.”

This delightful book had been sitting in my “to read” stack for several months. I finally had the pleasure to indulge while cruising the Amalfi coast on holiday a few weeks ago. I devoured it in a few days. If you have not yet read it, I highly recommend you treat yourself.

Articles:

You Can Be Addicted To Weed. I Was When I Was 12. by Gideon Modisett for The Free Press — “Here’s the reality: I don’t know anyone 15 or 16 who hasn’t smoked, and they all know it’s not like their father’s (or grandfather’s) weed. It’s much stronger, and the consequences of smoking are getting worse.” Prior to Modisett’s piece, The Free Press published America The Stoned by Eric Spitznagel which I highly recommend — “The average legal product sold today is about 20 percent THC, compared with around 3 percent in the ’70s and around 5 percent in the ’80s and ’90s,” according to Keith Humphreys, a Stanford professor of psychiatry who served as a drug policy advisor for the Bush and Obama administrations…A 2022 study from the UK found a direct connection between high potency cannabis and increased likelihood of becoming addicted.”

Mothers Want To Be Left Alone by Amanda Montei for The New York Times — “Mothers belong to husbands and children, and when they seek their own respite or pleasure it’s understood as narcissistic, selfish or immoral.”

I Asked Four Former Friends Why We Stopped Speaking. Here’s What I Learned. by Kai Mwai for Vogue — “After all, friends are witnesses to your life. They enrich the living experience. Not having that makes me feel like that tree that falls in the forest alone: Can anybody hear me? Do I matter?”

The Gender Pay Gap Is Not A Myth, It’s Math by Richard V Reeves in Of Boys And Men — “The one-word explanation for the pay gap is: children. Among young adults, especially if they are childless, the pay gap has essentially disappeared. “There’s remarkable evidence that earnings for men and women move in sync up until the birth of a couple’s first child,” says economist Marianne Bertrand. “This is when women lose and they never recover.””

Letters From Love: Day One by Elizabeth Gilbert — “But time is not a race. To cherish this beautiful life of yours does not mean working and living like you’re running out of time. To cherish this beautiful life of yours is to move slow, to sit in the sun and behold the world around you right now. To sit present, to hold it all with wonder and tenderness and curiosity.”

That Cool New Bookstore? It’s a Barnes & Noble. by Ben Cohen for The Wall Street Journal — “The idea behind the new Barnes & Noble is to make the national chain more like a collection of 596 local indies. The famous one in my neighborhood used to symbolize the company’s past. Now it offers a peek at its future.”

Why Are Teens So Anxious? by Jean M. Twenge in Generation Tech — “As teens spent more time online, the way they spent their time outside of school fundamentally changed – with negative consequences for their mental health … The sea change in teens’ time use – not the pandemic, not school shootings, not Trump – is why more teens are anxious, lonely, and depressed, not just in North America but around the globe. That leaves us with the obvious question: What are we going to do about it?”

They Were Never Ignoring Me by James Hunt in Stories About Autism — “Previously, I’d tried to stop them flapping. I was scared it made them stand out. Scared of what others might say and that they’d get teased or bullied. I had a natural urge to want them to be more ‘normal.’ But they were just being themselves. And without realising it, I was trying to stop them from being that person. The more relaxed I became about stimming and the more I joined in with them, the stronger our bond became.”

And ICYMI — Does Almost Absolve Sin and It’s A Privilege are the last two articles by yours truly. I highly recommend them too. </pan to cheeky smile>

Documentary

Joyce Carol Oates: A Body In the Service of Mind — “…a literary heavyweight, one whose six decades of novels, short stories, essays and more have triggered fascinating debates about the intersection of violence, sexuality, race and womanhood (among other dark, distinctly American subjects).”

Ok so I love documentaries. Case in point, I’m the person on a long flight who actually watches at least one, if not two or three. I found this one to be a fascinating tiptoe into the observations, points of view, and life events that have inspired one of the most prolific and important writers who has given us over 100 extraordinary books including Black Water based on Ted Kennedy’s car accident that resulted in the death of a young girl, Blonde based on Marilyn Monroe, and Them based on the 1967 Detroit Riot.

TEDx Talk

The Decline of Play by Peter Gray, research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College and author of Substack newsletter Play Makes Us Human.

I have taken a deep dive into the intersection of play, how it has evolved from free, unstructured and child led, to parent organized and monitored, and how that change has negatively impacted the generations experiencing the latter framework of play. Peter’s powerful TED talk succinctly distills his research and sheds light on the need for any of us who have an influence on a child’s time, to promote and support them in independent and free play. The play that was completely normal to many of us when we were children and now is all but obsolete.

If you are further interested, I highly recommend his articles Risky Play: Why Children Seek It and Need It, the series on the benefits of Age Mixed Play I, II, & III, Play Deficit as Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Health, and The Most Fundamental Right is the Right to Quit. His research has caused me to seriously reassess and prioritize promoting and supporting my own children’s independence and free play. I hope I don’t get arrested.

September Tunes

Clean Beauty

I don’t wear makeup at all. I seriously don’t. Just never have. So for me it is all about the health and anti-aging of my skin. In the last handful of years I have also become really serious about only using clean products. Our skin is our largest organ and everything we put on it affects the health of our body including elements such as our hormones, inflammation, and dis-ease.

Ziip Halo — I have been using the Ziip nanocurrent and microcurrent facial toning device with the organic Crystal Gel for the past few years and absolutely love it. Founder Melanie Simon, who btw has the most age-defying skin thanks in part to the Ziip, has just launched the new Halo model. My favorite routine is The Works thanks to its lifting and tightening of my neck and face which at 50, is a real benefit. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.

Youth-Boost Peptide Serum by Goop — There are two Goop clean beauty products that I swear by. This is the newest and third that has knocked me off my feet with its results including really brightening my complexion giving it a soft and youthful glow.

Vintner’s Daughter Cleanser, Essence, and Serum — I playfully like to call these three products ‘the holy trinity’. They are incredible products that nourish the skin without any bad stuff. The production process involves weeks-long infusions of whole plants, including nettle, butcher’s-broom and frankincense. I truly believe in the miraculous power of plants but, regardless of what I think, the results speak for themselves. Obsessed!

Fashion

Lost & Found — Through word of mouth, founder Jamie Rosenthal, created an off the radar shopping experience where she has curated an offering of unique boutique clothing lines, accessories, textiles, and hand crafted pieces for the home, from all over the world. The store very quickly developed a cult-like following and now has two Los Angeles locations. Shopping aficionados, however, need not despair if you are not local, as everything can be found online!

Hannoh Wessel — Bespoke brand by Paris based, German born designer is one of those lines that Lost & Found carries. His design aesthetic is luxe utility and my “go-to” travel outfit consists of his Jocelyn Skirt. I have it in four different colors and I literally wear it almost every time I get on a plane. It is incredibly comfortable, and cool girl, nonchalant chic imbued with Wessel’s impeccable Northern Italian craftsmanship in which you can run to catch any plane, train, or automobile, sleep while on the road, and tote luggage without compromise. Not to mention, this skirt looks great on everyone, ensuring total confidence!

Kids Fashion

Smallable, The Family Concept Store — My holy grail of where to shop for children’s clothing. Period. Full stop. Why? Extraordinarily stylish, chic, unique boutique lines that I have not found elsewhere, especially under one roof, for all ages, including teens. And did I tell you it’s all online? Yep! Which for many of us is fantastic because it’s a Paris based company that ships overseas, with orders arriving in 3 days via DHL or UPS with super cheap shipping rates. The number of brands are almost countless and include my absolute go-to favorites such as Hello Simone, Tartine et Chocolat, Mini Rodini, Daily Brat, Mimi & Lula, Collegien, and Jelly Mallow for my daughter plus Bellerose, AO76, Stone Island, Finger in the Nose, Scotch & Soda, and Sun Child for my teen son. Smallable also carries fantastic toys as well as fashion for the home and everyone who lives in it — that means you too!

Life Hacks

Tumi Packing Cubes — Traveling for the summer, and specifically packing and unpacking between destinations, has never been easier since I started using these Tumi packing cubes. Now I just transfer each cube from my suitcase into my hotel room drawers and back. I have them in all different sizes and organize accordingly. For example, I have one that holds all my swimsuits, another that holds all my undergarments, another for my workout clothes, et al. For a more budget friendly alternative, I use the Eagle Creek Pack-It Reveal Cube Set for my children (color coding green for my son and blue for my daughter). A God send.

Food

Invisible Vinaigrette by Amy Thielen in her new cookbook Company — I am obsessed with this vinaigrette! I especially enjoy topping it upon lightly grilled asparagus even though Amy accompanies it with a mixture of beautiful greens for a simple, yet perfect salad. That is to say it’s versatile. I plan to play with the vinaigrette with poultry and fish, too. It’s just incredibly delicious and adds so much flavor.

Invisible Vinaigrette
•2 teaspoons salt-packed capers
•2 small garlic cloves
•1⁄2 cup chopped fresh parsley
•1⁄4 teaspoon fine sea salt, plus more to taste
•Freshly ground black pepper to taste
•1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
•11⁄2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
•3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
•2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
•1⁄2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
•1 tablespoon water

Amy Thielen’s Recipe Notes:
1. For the vinaigrette, put the capers into a small bowl and cover with warm water, giving them a quick squeeze to express their salt. Soak for at least 20 minutes, then drain and rinse.

2. I make this vinaigrette in my mortar and pestle but it can also be made successfully by hand if you’re willing to go long on chopping the herbs. Combine the garlic and capers, and pound or chop until finely mashed together, using the flat side of your knife if you’re not using a mortar and pestle. Add the parsley, salt, and pepper and pound or chop until the parsley begins to express dark green juice, then add the dill and do the same. Stir in the mustard, lemon juice, vinegar, and olive oil and taste for salt, adjusting as needed. Stir in the water and set the dressing aside to meld and come together.

Health and Wellbeing

Levels Health — The Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) and the compatible Levels App is one of a handful of lifestyle hacks that has up-leveled (no pun intended) my overall physical health and weight management significantly. Introduced to it by my nutritionist Kelly LeVeque during its early Beta stage, I have been wearing the CGM since January 2021, but you can choose to wear it for as short as a month or as long as makes sense for your unique goals. The wearable device monitors our body’s glucose response to different stimuli including, but not limited to, exercise, stress, and food. But the secret sauce is that the device gives REAL TIME data, delivered directly to the Levels App on our smartphone, letting us know exactly how much or how little the workout, the argument with our family member, or the snack we just ate impacted our blood glucose. Why does this matter? Research links high blood sugar to eight of the top 10 leading causes of death in the US, including Alzheimer’s disease, cardiovascular disease, stroke, and cancer.

The Clean Program by Alejandro Junger, MD — An oldie but a goodie. I first completed this 21 day at home detox program back in 2009 and key elements from The Clean Program are still the cornerstone of how I eat every.single.day. I learned everything about the program, how and why it works, as well as how to successfully do the gentle detox from Dr. Junger’s book Clean: The Revolutionary Program To Restore the Body’s Natural Ability To Heal Itself. This was long before he introduced his clean kits and supplement lines that are now offered on his website to make the process that much more convenient. I still prefer doing The Clean Program as laid out in his book and I complete the detox at least one time per year. One of the key takeaways that I swear by daily is the twelve hour (minimum) overnight fasting window with my first meal of the day being a kale or spinach rich green smoothie complimented with supplements, antioxidants and avocado blended into a thick ice-cream textured superfood shake. I love this morning ritual so much that I even travel with my smoothie blend all over the world. Yep, I’m that person.

Hope you enjoyed a little peek into some things that have sparked my interest and stirred my heart along the way. Please let me know your thoughts down below. Would love to hear from you.

Until next time, xoxo!