My Little Black Book

With a special nod to candles.

Dear Friends,

I am shocked that October is over and much of Autumn has passed! Time waits for no one, which is why October’s Little Black Book is just making it under the wire, out today on Halloween.

With a chill in the early morning air, this time of year yearns for the presence of candles with their warm glow and aromatic fragrance that set a mood. Scented candles are transformative this way. They can shift how we feel in an instant, conjure a nostalgic feeling and create a cozy, relaxing or seductive mood with the hue of their amber glow. I use candles throughout my house to all of these effects. I also always burn a candle in my office when I sit to write. The ritual of lighting a candle, smudging a corner of palo santo wood, topping off my matcha, cinnamon or chamomile tea while enjoying a piece of dark chocolate has become a sacred practice that grounds and aligns my heart, mind and soul.

With this in mind, and ‘tis the season of Autumn followed by the gift giving holidays, I am sharing the candles that I personally light throughout my home as well as gift to those I know.

I truly hope that you are finding time to savor your loved ones as the holidays approach and that you take time for yourself to replenish your well. Here’s to finding some inspiration below…And Happy Halloween!

xoxo - WRW

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Articles:

What’s The Work For Us? by Elise Loehnen — “Hearts are racing and pulses are sky high. People are angry. While anger is a primary emotion, it’s also secondary to fear, shame, and grief. The fear is the trickiest: This is first/root chakra, safety and security. Absent an assurance of that, it’s impossible to stay centered or grounded, to speak from the higher self.”

Two Things Can Be True by Dr. Aliza Pressman — “One important concept in psychology and mental health is the dialectic. A dialectic allows for the idea that two seemingly opposing things can be true at the same time…In this particular discussion, I can personally use an example here from my own experience as a Jewish woman and grandchild of Holocaust survivors: 1. It is horrific and unacceptable that innocent civilians - especially children - are being harmed, kidnapped, or murdered by terrorists who want to see all Jews dead. 2. I deeply disagree with many of the current and past policies that the Israeli Government holds toward Palestinians and my heart is broken for the Palestinians who have, and continue, to suffer.”

Jewish Grief Must Not Be Used as a Weapon of War by Stephanie Fox — “We do not need to choose between grieving and acting. As our forebears taught us, we must mourn the dead by fighting like hell for the living.”

How To Talk To Kids About Anything by Melinda Wenner Moyer — “We also want to talk to kids about tough topics because the research actually says that they want to hear it from their parents. With sex or suicide or porn, kids are saying they wish their parents had talked to them about it, or they want to be able to talk to their parents about it.”

Yes It’s The Phones (And Social Media) by Jean M Twenge — “Teen depression only began to skyrocket after smartphones and social media entered the scene in the early 2010s, with teen independence continuing its slide in that era. If the party is on Snapchat, who needs a driver’s license or to go out? The two trends are likely reinforcing each other.” And Jon Haidt adds the following note of interest to Jean’s research and analysis above pointing out, “In my forthcoming book, The Anxious Generation, I argue that the mental health crisis was caused by two factors: the loss of “play-based childhood” and its replacement by “phone-based childhood,” which is incompatible with healthy human development…The loss of childhood independence weakened children over several decades, but it took immersion in phones and social media to push them over the edge.”

Suicide Rates Are up for Gen Z Across the Anglosphere, Especially for Girls by Zach Rausch — “Adolescents are much more likely to commit suicide as a result of interpersonal problems, while adults have more varied motivations—including illnesses and financial setbacks, as well as interpersonal reasons. There was one seismic shift in how interpersonal relationships work that fits the timing well: the global and simultaneous migration of adolescent social life onto smartphones and social media platforms, which happened roughly between 2010 and 2015.”

A World Without Babies by Martin Gurri — “The birth of my kids clarified a great mystery. The human race is unique in that every individual craves to live for something bigger and more important than himself. Many fulfill this sense of mission in religion, others in careers or in service. I knew from the first I had been put in the world to protect those three helpless creatures. Was I happy? The question doesn’t even make sense in this context. Parents are hostages to their kids. They can make you miserable in a million ways. But you’re not paying much attention to yourself; you’re looking after them. And watching my children strive and struggle, succeed and fail, love and bicker, what I felt made the word happiness seem shallow and lame.”

Podcasts

Oprah Shares “The Letter From Glennon That Freed Me” in We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle

Candles, Candles, and More Candles

I truly am a lover of candles and as I mentioned above, I light them daily when working and writing in my office. To that end, I have tried many different brands and scents and have become quite discerning about what I appreciate. I lean towards floral and ouds but not exclusively. The season definitely impacts what fragrance I burn and the list below includes lovely selections that celebrate the holidays. I especially love candles at this time of year that throw the scent of pine and spices considering so many of us have moved from fresh cut trees to “life like” artificial ones.

Candles are also a fantastic holiday gift as well as a fabulous hostess gift in lieu of a bottle of wine or spirit.

Below are my personal favorites which when speaking about fragrance means you may love them or find you prefer different notes. However, they are all from houses that I have enjoyed for many years and can attest to the luxury of the vessel, wax, wick and scent. The artisanship is real. So if you are looking for different notes, I feel confident that within each brand you will find options that suit your olfactory beautifully.

Trudon is an amazing candle house and one of my favorites since my husband introduced them to me last year when he gifted me one of these lovelies. Now I’m a devoted fan.

My two favorite Trudon Holiday Collection candles.

Diptyque Refillable Candle. I was thrilled when the Maison introduced these sustainable fragrant beauties two months ago, as was Mother Earth.

My two favorite Diptyque Holiday Collection candles.

The Maker Candles by The Maker Hotel are inspired by travel longed for and lived. I am giving the trio for holiday gifts this year for sure.

Fornasetti Home Candles are where design and fragrance meet in beauty and sophistication. Absolutely love their intrigue.

The aromas of the Aman Spa Candles instill serenity and encourage emotional wellbeing, bringing the spa into our home. I brought one back with me from our time at Amanpulo this summer and have already ordered more.

Until next time, xoxo,