Overcoming Obstacles To Achieve Fulfillment

Sharpening the axe and WOOPing our desires.

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Hello and greetings from New York City!

I am on holiday with my daughter enjoying a week of Special Time together in one of our absolute favorite cities.

Please forgive me for not including my micro issue of my Little Black Book and the voice recording today.

Regular programming will commence next week. 

Dear Friends,

Time away, time to unwind, time to reflect, time to center are all things that we need to flourish, fresh and anew. Our Spring Break trip with family and friends gave me just that. The feeling of finding space. Breathing room. Being. Not doing. Connecting to nature, to family, to myself. Slowing down. Way down.

And then I returned home to find myself exactly where I left off prior to leaving on holiday — immediately in the thick of it all juggling demands that span more hours than I have in a day. Feeling exhausted and constantly harried because I can’t catch up nor carve out a bit of time for more than my duties, roles, and obligations, I begin to feel frustrated with myself.

“I'm more than my ‘To Do’ list.”

But I keep going because I’ve got to get it all done. Coming up for air, which basically surmounts to going pee, a persistent thought keeps circling my attention. “I need to course correct.” The strategy of putting aside my personal needs, believing that when I get ‘xyz’ finished, I will then have more time, is a fool’s errand.

For the past several years, one of my primary intentions has remained the same: “Simplify and slow down. Anchor each day with a slice of time to nourish myself.”

This has become an important personal value and goal I come back to, time and again, much like my own North Star. A lighthouse. A practice. Progress not perfection. Recommitting when I fall off track, as I have in the past and now.

To that end, I know that the crux of the challenges we face to starting afresh, whether it is a new habit or a new routine, are the competing demands on our time. Not lack of desire or discipline.

Christine Carter, author and Senior Fellow at the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center writes:

“As a coach, I've found that before we make a big change we also need to spend a few weeks noticing what’s stopping us from following through on our best intentions. Maybe you want to spend more time reading, or more time out in nature, or eat fewer snacks that come in brightly colored foil. If you aren’t already following through on these good intentions, you likely have some competing commitments. 

Another method to consider on how best to approach making an important change is what Gabriele Oettingen, New York University Professor of Psychology, uncovered from over 20 years of research on the science of motivation: WOOP which is an acronym for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle and Plan.

Professor Oettingen tells us:

“WOOP instructs us to dream our future dreams but then to imagine what obstacles inside ourselves prevent us from achieving these dreams.”

Both Christine and Gabriele’s research teaches us that we need to take the time to get clear on what our goal is, what the outcome looks like, what are the obstacles or demands that may get in our way, and what is our plan, or the strategy we will use, to overcome those obstacles.

Which reminds me of a proverb. We can “make haste” on a task by grabbing our axe and start chopping at it. Or we can pause to take the time to sharpen our axe. Once our axe is sharp, then we are truly prepared to achieve our goal more successfully and efficiently than if we did not take the time to sharpen our axe to begin with.

How about you? Is there anything you have veered off track from? Do you have a goal, habit or routine you want to tweak or install, but are struggling to gain traction?

If yes, please join me in digging deep to uncover what competing demands for our attention and time will we face. Let’s WOOP our desires, “brushing them up against the very thing most of us are taught to ignore or diminish: the obstacles that stand in our way”. Let’s use these tools to craft a life where we feel both fulfilled in our work, nourished in our soul, and centered in our life.

Until next time, much love, xoxo, WRW