Devotion

Who and what do you serve?

Hello and …

Happy, happy new year dear friends. I am thrilled to be embarking on 2024 together. I hope you have found your grounding energy after the hoopla of the holiday season, ready to seize the year ahead with joie de vivre.

It always takes me a few weeks into mid January to get my literal house in order, however, I spend the weeks leading up to January reflecting on how my daily actions are lining up with my short and long term goals so that I may tweak accordingly. I am part of the group that feels renewed, hopeful and excited by the opportunities of the “fresh start” of the new year, even though I consistently throughout the year reevaluate and realign. It is not a one time per year activity for me. It is a constant frame of mind and dialogue with myself accompanied by course corrections. Charting the vessel of my life.

As you may know by now, I always hunt for the treasure of wisdom I can glean while traveling. And this recent jaunt out of town for the holidays was no different. While away, I witnessed a beautiful private moment. I did not mean to encroach and once I realized what was transpiring, I retreated, mostly*. But for the moments I did get to be a witness, I was reminded of the power and beauty of devotion.

With love, WRW

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Dear Circle,

On an oceanfront residential balcony tucked next to the one we were occupying, yet behind, so as to provide more privacy, a man stood alone wrapping a black strap of sorts around his left arm. He had a white shawl hanging from his shoulders and a small black box was fixed centered atop his forehead.

I had come out to sit on our terrace to sip my morning coffee, meditate and journal in the beauty of the vast ocean in front of me. In my peripheral vision, though, I caught this man’s movements as he wrapped. Knowing it was not my business, I moved my chair such that I could not see him and he could not see me. A few minutes later, though, my curiosity was still peaked. My mind kept trying to answer the question of what was this man doing? I glanced over to find him still standing, now slightly shifting his weight left and right as he thoughtfully, purposefully and with love read a book. It clicked. He was a Jewish man, reading his religious prayer book, wearing what I now know is Tefillin while practicing what I also now know is Shaharit, the morning prayer.

I was witnessing a committed act of devotion. In this solemn and private* moment, a man exemplifying his devotion to God and to his values. It was a sacred moment, that although it was not mine, I felt impressed upon just by bearing witness to a few moments.

In many ways our life is constructed by our devotions. Who and what we serve. Consciously and unconsciously.

Conscious devotion, we consecrate in contracts and vows, such as to our spouse, our children, our jobs and God. Unconscious devotions, we anoint through our daily habits, addictions, and implicit focus, desires and memories.

Devotion: Love, loyalty, enthusiasm for person, activity or cause. Ardent, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle.

Etymology: Latin, “devovere,” to consecrate a vow, a solemn promise, a wish, desire, longing, prayer.

A through-line of my intent here at A Life Considered is for us to move from the unconscious to the conscience regarding how we live our lives and the seeds we plant in our children as we help them learn to live theirs. To purposefully choose, not just react to the energies we encounter.

I believe in the preciousness of our time here in this life. How short and fleeting a lifetime really is. You may recall that we live 4,000 weeks on average. Yet in the hustle and bustle of life today, markedly magnified by our smartphones and the expectations that we must constantly and immediately be reachable and responsive, we move through our days, mostly reacting versus purposefully choosing what we do with our time.

We often, unwittingly, get swept up in a myriad of directions dictated by other people’s needs, asks and agendas. We have become overstretched, saying yes to so much, eroding the time, energy and focus necessary to actually attend to what brings us joy. In my case, the hike with my husband, stretches of hang time with my children and more deep work time to think, read and write. Instead, often we are left feeling scattered, burned out and remiss.

Furthermore, in this whirlwind we call life today, without downtime to just be and to reflect, many of us only have an idea, a notion, of who we want to be - a good person - and what we want to do with our life - be successful. But what does that really mean and look like specifically? What are we willing to carve out time for consistently each day to do? What is our unique gift and purpose that only we have the experience, point of view and ability to hone and give to the world? Which is to say, who and what is most important to each of us that we choose to devote ourselves to?

Who do I want to be?
What do I want to do with my life?
What is my unique purpose that I am here to give to the world?

If we don’t have clarity on these questions and a path of aligned daily actions, then the chances of fulfilling our dreams and purpose, and living a life that is meaningful to us, are slim to none, and slim just left town, as the saying goes.

The Stoics contemplated these questions through the paradigms of carpe diem, ‘pluck the day, trusting as little as possible to the next one’ and memento mori, ‘remember you will die.’

These reflections were then, and still are, tools to create priority and meaning. Tools that generations have used to create real perspective and urgency. To treat our time as a gift and not waste it. We only get one shot at today. We have only twenty-four hours with which to take it. And then it is gone and lost forever. As Seneca says:

“Let us therefore set out whole-heartedly, leaving aside our many distractions and exert ourselves in this single purpose, before we realize too late the swift and unstoppable flight of time and are left behind. As each day arises, welcome it as the very best day of all, and make it your own possession. We must seize what flees.”

John Maxwell is the #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has sold more than 30 million books, has been identified as the #1 leader in business by the American Management Association and the world’s most influential leadership expert by Business Insider and Inc. magazine. In his book 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, Maxwell writes:

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. That means developing great habits. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments, and that bridge must be crossed every day. Over time that daily crossing becomes a habit. And ultimately, people do not decide their future; they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.”

Brilliant wisdom. The next paragraph in his book, however, has been even more life changing for me in many regards…

“What are you doing daily that needs to change? What needs doing? Maybe more importantly, what needs undoing?”

I have learned first hand that THE fastest way to improve our life isn’t to START doing something awesome. It’s actually to STOP doing something that we know we should stop doing.

We all have things that we are doing that create most of our headaches. A few things that we do that don’t help us, and, in fact, actually hinder us. For example, my number one daily keystone need is to get eight to nine hours of sleep every night. If I do this, then no matter what I face the next day, I am at my best to address it with grace, humor and steadiness. Additionally, I hit my personal targets more easily and consistently such as eating cleaner, moving my body more, and meditating.

Despite knowing this to my core, I more often than I would like to admit, find myself not honoring my keystone need because I instead give in to using my phone right before bed, which not only delays my going to sleep on time, but also disrupts the quality of my sleep. My phone use before bed is the kryptonite to my keystone.

Another way to look at it is that my devotion ( * addiction) to my phone is often greater than my devotion to supporting my health and well-being. In Maxwell’s terms, the habit of using my phone before bed needs undoing.

And so another year has wrapped and I consider who and what am I devoted to? Am I living in alignment with the answer to that question? And where I am not, what needs to be tweaked, evolved or just plain undone? I will keep you posted on my efforts to stop what is not serving me. Namely using my phone after 7:30 pm.

How about you? Are your devotions aligned with who and what you want to be, achieve and fulfill with your time here? Please share in the comments what perhaps you are starting or stopping in support of the devotions most important to you. We can help each other be accountable.

With devotion to you and our circle, xoxo, WRW

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