From Mister Rogers to Modern Parenting

Upholding Family Values: Part Two in Your Road Map For Life

Hello, hello dear friends!

I want to shout from the rafters, my gratitude for all of you who have upgraded your subscription from free to paid. I am overwhelmingly thrilled for your support and that you value this space. I hope many more of you will also choose to join this community of rock stars who are committed to creating a yummy rich life of purpose, connection & authenticity! You can upgrade here. Don’t miss out. You are worth it.

Also, following the essay below you will find this week’s mini edition of my Little Black Book with one of my favorite Spring/Summer wearables. xoxo! WRW

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Dear Friends,

Debuting nationally in 1968, Mister Rogers Neighborhood, hosted by Fred Rogers, gifted children vignettes exploring the relationships and simple daily happenings within a neighborhood. Being born in 1973, I firmly reside in the generation that was fortunate enough to grow up enveloped by the loving care and extraordinary influence of Mister Rogers. On his show he thoughtfully conducted the natural arc of life, teaching us how to navigate its ups and downs with grace and compassion for ourselves and others. He did not sweep topics under the carpet because he knew that children deserve and need to understand the truth of their experiences coupled with a safe container to work out the meaning of what was going on inside of them and around them — the “inner needs of children” and the “inner drama of childhood.”

Through the construct of his neighborhood, Mister Rogers helped us internalise a solid foundation of self worth and strong interpersonal values. He described his show as giving children a “neighborhood expression of care.” He did that in spades, yet I would argue he gave us much more than that: a strong identity based on clear values of what it means to be a good person and a good neighbor.

“It is only in the future that the significance
of certain events and tendencies becomes clear.”

As a child of course I didn’t realize the tenacity and potency of the seeds that Mister Rogers planted within me. In hindsight, however, it is clear that for me the importance of considering how we architect a values driven life can be partially referenced back to his show. A Life Considered is my concept of a neighborhood where we help each other be the best version of ourselves, just as Mister Rogers helped us learn how to be decades ago.

Like then, children today still need open and honest conversations about their inner world, the world around them, and how to navigate both. However, I would argue even more so today. For the landscape of growing up is so much more complex, fast paced, and opaque with much of life playing out digitally. Social media has magnified to hyper levels the potential impact that influencers, professional athletes, celebrities, and peers have on our children within feeds, texts and chats. Our children are bombarded with messaging about who they should be albeit superficially not substantively. Without a strong sense of identity our children have the potential to become lost, increasingly following others haphazardly.

Values: The beliefs people have, especially about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life, that control their behavior. ~ Cambridge Dictionary

Children who know their values have an easier time reacting to stress and distress as well as pursuing where they want to go in life despite challenges they inevitably will face along the way. Having an explicit moral compass of positive values, coupled with high expectations from those who care for them, gives their life meaning and purpose. Research published in the Annals of General Psychiatry has also found an association between having personal values in adolescence with mental health and well-being in adulthood. Whereas a fragile sense of self, derived from not having internalized strong values is one of the risk factors for low self-esteem, mental health issues, and even mental illness.

In order for my family to keep our values and ideals front and center, we wrote down what is most important to us, posted it, and recommit to it almost daily in the morning with one of our children reading it out loud for all of us to reflect upon.

Here is ours:

Now your turn.

What are the values you want to live your life by? The values you want your partner and you to share? The compass you want to set for you and your family?

One way to identify your values, is to think about what it is in life that is REALLY important to you. The most important. That is to say, what gives your life meaning and purpose.

Do — Identify together with your children what are your family values. Post them and recommit to them often. This is a living document. Not a list we create and then forget about in a drawer. Check in regularly with your children to explore if situations have arisen where your family values were tested or came into play. Role play or discuss how to navigate these types of situations.

Don’t — Assume your children will assimilate your values via osmosis of growing up in your household. Instead seize the opportunity to openly talk about why your values matter and how they will shape and lead to a meaningful life.

Signing off as Mister Rogers often did … “You’ve made this day a special day by just you being you. There is no person in the whole world like you and I like you just the way you are.”

xoxo, WRW

Changing the channel to this week’s mini edition of my Little Black Book…hot off the press, favorite finds plus tried and true, time tested treasures.

Splinters by Leslie Jamison — After reading The Empathy Exams and The Recovering by Jamison, both of which I really enjoyed, I was excited to read Splinters. It is her highly anticipated newest book — a memoir — just out a few weeks ago. It is about divorce, new motherhood, and the stories we tell ourselves to survive.

Swan III Coffee Table by Francesco Balzano — This stunner looks like it has found a home in the living room of our forthcoming new house. Balzano’s swan coffee table collection pays tribute to Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. The subtle, yet clean lines, embody the avant-garde vision of French architect and designer, Balzano, who is based out of Paris, France.

Maiden Flat in Black Mesh by Khaite — Catherine Holstein, hands down is my favorite contemporary designer. These mesh flats will take you (and me) everywhere all Spring and Summer long. So quiet chic, imho.

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Hope you’re having a great weekend. Talk soon.